I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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