You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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