if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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