I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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