Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????