The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down