So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.