It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
