Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
did i walk over a car last night?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
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We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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