Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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