i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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