u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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