I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
