All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
