i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
whose parrot is this?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
