i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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