Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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