i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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