i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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