i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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