i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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