glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
