i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
