I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
