brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
In the future we'll all be gay
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
