i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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