Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
