You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize