No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
