it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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