Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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