I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
