he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
