Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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