I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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