im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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