from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
