Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
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It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
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The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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