happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
