So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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