I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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