: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize