Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
