I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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