I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
