instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
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There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
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Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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