dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
