I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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