Hey man sorry I got all grabby
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize