I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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