I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
