I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
accomplished twins. life is a go
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
