I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize