Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
