I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
