$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
