I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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