sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
