I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
