Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize