Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
