Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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