I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
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I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
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Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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